Sheikh Uthaymeen & his sense of humour

Presented below are some humorous tidbits from the Fatwas of Sheikh Muhammad Bin Saleh Al-Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him), while answering questions.

Q – Sheikh, my question is: what is the ruling about a young lady who has not reached adulthood with regards to the following three situations: covering the face outside the house? And wearing pants in any form, situation, or reason? And the khimar in the Salah?
A – This man is intelligent. He combined three questions in one, may Allah forgive us and him….
(Baab Al-Maftooh, 139)

Q – Is it allowed for a man to be with his female servant, and what can he see of her?
A – If he marries her, then she can uncover her face in front of him, and this is the solution….
...But I am afraid that if she becomes his wife, she will demand a female servant, and then this will be a problem!
(Al-Liqaa Al-Shahri, 3)

Q – Is it allowed for me to buy a rooster so that when it crows, I ask Allah of His bounty?
A – I don’t know about this. It’s ordained for a person that when he hears the crowing of a rooster he asks Allah of His bounty, but I am afraid that your rooster will be silent! Alhamdulillah, you ask Allah for His bounty if you hear the rooster or not. Ask of His bounty always.
(Al-Baab Al-Maftooh, 200)

Q – Sheikh, may Allah reward you with Paradise, I see in my dreams as if I’m sitting in your class. I have certain questions, so I ask you and you give me the answers. So what’s the ruling with regards to those answers? (Questioner laughs)
A – I don’t remember this. I don’t remember this. I don’t notice in my sleep that you are asking me anything! (Sheikh laughs) Don’t depend on this. If you listen to a tape, that’s fine, but we don’t give lessons to those who are sleeping!
(Al-Baab Al-Maftooh, 200)

Q – With reference to the Hadith: “There is no competition except in shooting arrows, foot-racing, or horse-racing,” what is your opinion if someone engages in rooster-racing or pigeon-racing?
A – Look, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “There is no competition except in shooting arrows, foot-racing, or horse-racing,” because these things are to be used for war. If your rooster is used in war so that you ride on it, then it’s allowed! Otherwise no….
(Al-Baab Al-Maftooh, 200)

Q – What is your opinion about these du’as which are played in the car, like the du’a for riding, the du’a for traveling, etc. What’s the response to those who say they are amulets?
A – Amulets! I say that whoever says they are amulets are telling the truth, if (in case) the car is sick!
The du’as are attached to the car, not the rider, and to play them in the car is fine since they remind travelers of the du’a for riding or traveling. Everything that helps to do good is good. There is no problem, and they are not amulets!

Unless if someone said to you: If the car is sick, attaching the du’as to it will cure it by the will of Allah!
(Liqaa Al-Shahree)

Veil for men
A narrator mentions in an Arabic forum:
I asked the Sheikh about the ruling about a woman looking at a man. (His view was that it is allowed if there is no Fitna). I debated with him for a long time on the issue, and afterwards when I wanted to leave he said: “Where are you going?” The question seemed a little strange to me, so I laughed and said, “I’m going out.”

He said: “Wear a khimar so the women don’t see you!”